Lee Geiger

Author’s Note I: Geiger and Goddard beat the odds and survived the Montgomery Securities reunion. A comprehensive post complete with G-Men inspired observations will appear next week.

Author’s Note II: Today’s post may lack meaning unless you worked, or know people who worked, at Montgomery Securities. Regardless, the lyrics are very creative.

Michael Balog, a dynamo of keen intelligence and passionate energy who won the hearts and minds of his Montgomery colleagues during a Hall of Fame career as an equity salesman, flew in from Paris to perform his much anticipated rendition of “Montgomery Pie,” sung to the Don McLean classic. In a performance worthy of Saturday Night Live, Michael and his Riff Raff Band brought down the house. Enjoy.

Montgomery Pie

by

Michael Balog 

A long long time ago…

I can still remember

How ole Monty used to make us smile

Cause I knew that if we had a chance

That we could make those symbols dance

And maybe they would stay up for awhile

But ‘87 made us shiver

With each new downtick they’d deliver

Bad news in the Journal

Yet HOPE…it springs …eternal

I don’t know if I laughed or cried

When I heard about THOM’S umpteenth bride (big pause)

But something touched me deeeeeep inside

The day Mongomery died

(chorus)

So BYE BYE to Montgomery here guys

We drove our Chevys to the Pyramid

We bled the B Of A dry

And tonight Montgomery folks all drop in with a sigh

Singin’ “Time to kiss Montgomery goodbye…

Time to kiss Montgomery goodbye…”

OH Did you think that someday…. YOU

Would stand here…nearly… good as new

Or at least it’s what we tell ourselves

And did you believe we’d get here this quick

With so much dough… it’s… really kinda sick

Your ex wives smile and tell me NoooOOOOO….

I’ll remind you now I worked for Skeen

O-And we… HAD more fun than… Charlie Sheen

He stood the test of time

A better friend and mentor you’ll never find

And there’s Bobby Kahan, a tradin’ broncin’ buck

Bids a million Gap Stores right HERE, ” holy f**k”

Alliance said, “SOLD! (and OH …GOOD LUCK”)

Some DAYS…. just reaaaally sucked…

We started thinkin’

(chorus)

Bye Bye to Montgomery here guys

We drove Audis to the pyramid

We bled the B of A dry

And then ole Stanford boys they all drop in with a sigh

Singin’ “time to kiss ole Monty goodbye…

Time to kiss ole Monty good bye?”

So For OVER 10 years we all been on our own

While moss grows fat on Ken Lewis bones

But that’s not how it used to be

We had ole- Joe- Schell to pitch the deal

Spun a tangled yarn that seemed almost real

With some “help” from…

hot young interns

CLOSED THE DEAL

Oh and while OUR THOM was LOOKING DOWN

Hugh McCall snatched off his GOLDEN CROWN

Our Camelot adjourned

And no partners then returned

While Dick Fredericks did the diplomatic lark

And Jolson Merchant went to light a spark

Those GUARANTEES sure hit the mark

But today, my memory flies…

And we go singing’

(chorus)

Bye Bye to Montgomery ole guys

Drove our PORCHES to the pyramid

We bled the B of A dry

And them ole Montgomery folks we all drop in with a sigh

Singin’, “never thought the GUARANTEES die…

Never thought the guarantees die…”

Helter Skelter in a bullish swelter

NASDAQ COLLAPSED on our fall out shelter

5000 high and falling faaaaast…

It landed hard with a crash

Greenspan lowered n’ tried to make it last

While the Bernak just… studied playbooks…From the paaaast

Now the liquidity FLOOD was sweEET perfume

While Enron played a FELONIUS TUNE

We all got one last chance

Before Obama turned this place into FRANCE!!! Ooooooo…..

And when Paulson tried to take the field

The Goldman traders refused to yield

Do you recall what was revealed

The day Montgomery died

We started singin’

(chorus)

Bye Bye to Montgomery ole guy

Drove our Jaguars to the pyramid

And bled the B of A dry

And them Wall Street folks they all dropped in with a sigh

Singin’, “time to kiss Montgomery good bye

Time to kiss Montgomery good bye”

Oh and there we were all in one place

Launched that Trans America building INTO space

With no time left to start again

Skeen said, “Log be nimble, Log be quick”

BUT make sure you don’t forget to… work your WICK, cause

Commissions aren’t a brokers only frieeeeend !!!

And WHEN Ben SI—MON took the stage

My hands would clench in fists of rage (anger face)

No client born in Hell

Could break Ben Simon’s spell

And as the bubble climbed high into the night

We huffed and puffed with all our might

There was Tom McKenna… laughing… with delight

The day that music died

And we were singin’

(chorus)

Bye Bye to Montgomery ole guys

Drove Ferraris to the pyramid

N ‘ Bled the B of A dry

And them Montgomery folks all drop in with a sigh

Singin, “time to kiss our Monty good bye

Time to kiss our Monty goodbye” 

(slow, slow, slow)

I met my girl there who sang no blues

I finally found one that wouldn’t…SCREW ….THEN SUE

My humor… she just smiles and turns away

CJ and I went down to the trading floor

Where we baboons made music… years before

But the guard there… said that music …doesn’t playyy (very slowly)

And in the streets the liberals screamed…(pause)

Madoff lied …and the Warriors dreamed (pause)

But not a trade was spoken….

The Quotrons all were broken…

So TONIGHT……. to three MEN I PROPOSE A TOAST…

To McMahon, and Cheadle , and perhaps Mitsy most

We caught the last train forrrr… the coast

When they, and Monty, died

And we were singin’…

(chorus)

Bye Bye to your Montgomery ole guys

Drove Ferraris to the Pyramid

N’ bled the B of A dry

And some lifelong mates all drop in with a sigh

Singin’, “time to kiss Montgomery good bye

Time to kiss Montgomery goodbye

…AND THEY WERE SINGIN’….

(chorus)

BYE BYE TO OUR MONTY OLE GUYS

DROVE FERRARIS TO THE PYRAMID

N’ BLED THE B OF A DRY

AND THE LUCKIEST FOLKS EVER….ALL DROP IN WITH A SIGH

SINGIN, ‘TIME—– TO—– KISS—-OLE—-MONTY—–GOODBYE (fade away slowly…)