GLAAD To Be Back

Inertia keeps most people from living the life they dream. It’s safer to keep the same path you’ve worn smooth.

– Rick Reilly

We’ve all heard stories begin like this; “If you had told me X number of years ago I would be doing blah, blah, blah, I would have said you’re blah, blah, blah.” Well, I’ve got one of those blah, blah stories, so here goes:

“If you had told me five years ago I’d be one of three thousand people invited to the 25th Annual GLAAD Media Awards show in Los Angeles, held in the same Beverly Wilshire Hotel ballroom as the Golden Globe Awards, sitting at a table in my brand-new tuxedo located a mere 20 feet from Jennifer Lopez, and that at the ultra-chic after party I would shake hands with Naomi Campbell, Rita Moreno and Ellen Page, I would have asked you what banned hallucinogenic was in your morning cereal.”

What is GLAAD, and how on earth did I get invited to their awards show?

GLAAD (formerly the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation) is a non-governmental media monitoring organization which promotes the image of LGBT people in the media. I was invited to their annual fundraiser by a GLAAD board member who was a big fan of my originally self-published book Pearls of Asia, and she believed my attendance would be an excellent opportunity for me to market the newly-edited version being published May 29th by The Writer’s Coffee Shop (the original publisher of Fifty Shades of Grey). The attire was black tie optional, which meant I had to spring for a new tux now that I’ve managed to lose forty pounds. It’s what I call a “high-class problem.”

I knew I wasn’t in Kansas anymore when I stepped out of a Beverly Wilshire elevator and saw dozens of photographers and hundreds of spectators waiting for the procession of celebrities. Surprisingly, not one single camera lens snapped as I strolled down the red carpet, although some guy with spiked hair wearing a tuxedo with matching black sneakers did hand me his car keys and asked me not to scratch his Tesla.

A virtual mob riot ensued when Miss Lopez finally showed up, wearing a lacy blue cocktail dress with six-inch stilettos. But that chaotic scene was only slightly more insane than the commotion created by the arrival of Laverne Cox, the popular black transsexual actress on the hit Netflix show Orange Is the New Black. Along with J-Lo, GLAAD was honoring Miss Cox, which made me feel somewhat embarrassed. I had never seen her show, mainly because the only orange and black I pay attention to are the uniforms worn by the San Francisco Giants.

The fun-filled evening started at five o’clock and ended at midnight, and in that time I learned more about women’s shoes that I had ever wanted to know. And because I behaved myself, I’ve been invited to attend the GLAAD Media Awards show in New York City, held this Saturday, May 3, at the Waldorf-Astoria Hotel. Then again, maybe I’m invited because I’ll be the event’s token heterosexual married man. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Five years ago I had never heard of GLAAD. Or Jimmy Choos. Which begs the question…How did I get here?

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