Merci, Monsieur Elnick

It’s only when you see a mosquito land on your testicle that you realize there is always a way to solve problems without using violence.

Ron Adams, Assistant Coach, Golden State Warriors

Last Monday, after spending the day with the boys from Penserra dissecting every fortuitous bounce and late heroics from the Super Bowl, I returned home to find a large manila envelope resting against my front door. Fearing a notice from the IRS, or a letter bomb from a disgruntled Seattle Seahawks fan that saw his team’s defense deflate during the fourth quarter, I took the envelope inside and opened it expecting the worst. But lo and behold, what had I received?

A pristine copy of the January 14, 2015 edition of Charlie Hebdo.

In my 24 years of coming home from work in the middle of the afternoon, only two things have taken my breath away after walking through the front door. One was in February 1993, when I started hyperventilating after fishing from my mailbox the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue. The other was in September 2011, when The Pretty Blonde shocked and awed me with a leftover slice of her legendary monkey bread. Now I could add a third. Without question, receiving a copy of the first post-massacre issue of the French satirical magazine ranks right up near the top with the most thoughtful gifts I’ve ever received.

And what kind soul thought enough of me to stick a copy of Charlie Hebdo in the mail and send it off to Moraga? Actually, it wasn’t just one kind soul. It was two.

Thomas and Michael Elnick, twin brothers from the Brown University class of 2013, shared roster spots on the Brown track and cross country teams with my son Ross. I met the pair of tall, dark and handsome dudes from Merrick, NY on one of my trips to Providence, and I must have said something to them that clicked. Mike and Tom were early subscribers to The Marginal Prophet, and over the years they found my rambling stories and half-baked advice worthy of a few minutes of their precious time.

In a personal note that accompanied the magazine, Tom wrote, “Mike and I were in Paris last week and thought you would enjoy a copy of the Charlie Hebdo paper after reading the M.P on free speech (published on my website on January 12).” After six and a-half years of writing a blog, including penning 547 stories I’ve deemed worthy of sharing, receiving this gift of free speech, part of the non-violent food chain of satire, sarcasm and caricature that mocks sacrosanct authority, classism, and racism, makes all those hours wondering what the heck I’m going to say and how the heck I’m going to say it all worthwhile.

Thank you, Michael and Thomas Elnick. I am humbled by your thoughtfulness.

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