Lee Geiger

In the modern age, having icons on the homepage is the most valuable real estate in the world.

Tom Goodwin

My candidate for the best lead paragraph on a news article so far this year goes to Tom Goodwin, an executive at Havas Media, whose March 3 essay on Techcrunch.com began: “Uber, the world’s largest taxi company, owns no vehicles. Facebook, the world’s most popular media owner, creates no content. Alibaba, the most valuable retailer, has no inventory. And Airbnb, the world’s largest accommodation provider, owns no real estate. Something interesting is happening.”

It sure is, Tom. And then this morning a headline scurried across my computer screen that shocked me right down to my Jockey’s: “Netflix Announces Its New ‘Unlimited’ Maternity and Paternity Leave Program.”

Something interesting IS happening. But this last one has me shaking my head.

Hours after NFLX hit an all-time high, Tawni Cranz, Netflix’s Chief Talent Officer (now there’s a job title you don’t see every day) posted the following on the Company’s internal blog site;

“At Netflix, we work hard to foster a ‘freedom and responsibility culture’ that gives our employees context about our business and the freedom to make their own decisions along with the accompanying responsibility. With this in mind, today we’re introducing an unlimited leave policy for new moms and dads that allows them to take off as much time as they want during the first year after a child’s birth or adoption. We want employees to have the flexibility and confidence to balance the needs of their growing families without worrying about work or finances. Parents can return part-time, full-time, or return and then go back out as needed. We’ll just keep paying them normally…Experience shows people perform better at work when they’re not worrying about home.”

Look, I’m all for having dear ‘ol dad stay home and pitch relief for mom when it comes to diaper duty. But paid paternity leave for an entire year? My first thought was how easy it would be to scam the system. “Honey, do you mind wobbling around the house being pregnant for nine months of every year so I can stay home with you and our bouncy brood of maternity leaves? That way you, our family, and our bank account can continue to grow in size without me having to actually leave home and slave away at the office. Doesn’t that sound like a swell idea?”

I can tell you what The Pretty Blonde would say. And she would say it while chucking the remote control at my head.

I’ll admit I can be a curmudgeon at times, and that I often allow my intergenerational issues to cloud my judgment. And I’m not ranting on this particular topic because back in 1991 my boss at Montgomery Securities granted me a SINGLE day off to savor the birth of my first child. But I believe this idea of long-term paternity leave is right up there with grade inflation and the participation trophy. It’s a good idea on the surface, but it can be taken too far. I mean, come on…365 days? Really?

Memo to the Millennial Generation raised on work environments filled with ping pong tables, free lunches and refrigerators stocked with microbrews; enjoy it while you can. One day your company will stop growing as fast as a California wildfire, and its bottom line will turn south and morph from green to red, and you’ll drive yourself to work (assuming, of course, you’re not on paid paternity leave) in your 4-wheel drive Mercedes Benz SUV with individual 16-inch HD projection screens in the backseat for the kiddies, sit down at your empty workstation next to a cardboard box containing your Nerf basketball hoop and doggie sleeping sofa, and say to yourself, “What just happened?”

I’m just saying.