On The Road With Keith- The Finish Line
Well it’s all right, riding around in the breeze
Well it’s all right, if you live the life you please
Well it’s all right, even if the sun don’t shine
Well it’s all right, we’re going to the end of the line
The Traveling Wilburys, “End of the Line” (1989)
A couple weeks ago, while enjoying a sumptuous meal of takeout Chinese in our drought-stricken backyard, Keith Geiger blithely asked his parents, “So what’s the greatest invention of all time?” The ensuing discussion debated the social impact of man’s greatest creations, from the wheel to the microchip, The Skinny Kid made the case for the Internet, although if you asked him this morning from his Carnegie Mellon dorm room, he would most likely say the greatest invention ever created by man is…cruise control.
Then again, after driving over 2,500 miles in four days, what else would you expect him to say?
The Pretty Blonde and I agreed to Keith’s wishes to A) drive his car back to CMU for summer school, and B) travel solo, only after he agreed to the following conditions: no driving at night, no going faster than 80 mph, and plugging his cell phone number into the “Find My iPhone” app, which allowed us to monitor his whereabouts throughout his entire trip (or at least where AT&T had coverage). Then we mapped out a five-day itinerary, with four overnight stops in Elko, NV, Cheyenne, WY, Lincoln, NE, and Chicago. One the night before he left, I handed Keith a wad of cash and a AAA card. Then I went upstairs to bed and prayed.
What does a young man think about after taking his foot off the accelerator once it’s set to 80 mph? Does he take a moment to admire the vastness of the Nevada desert? The beauty of the Wasatch Mountains? The lush cornfields of Nebraska? The cattle herds roaming the Iowa prairie? Or does he look deep within himself and contemplate his path on the highway of life? When it comes to The Skinny Kid, my guess would be no, no, no, no, and hell no.
Ever since he memorized the Pokémon catalog while still in kindergarten, Keith has been wired to give 200% to things he cares about. So it came as no surprise when on Day One he blew past Elko on his way to Salt Lake City. The same was true for Day Two, where he gave Cheyenne barely a wave on his way to North Platte, NE. It was at this point I said to the Pretty Blonde, “Keith’s gotta be exhausted from the ride, or bored by the scenery. He’ll be lucky to get halfway across Iowa tomorrow.”
Au contraire, Mr. Formerly Fat Guy. Keith woke up on Day Three and, fueled on Dunkin Donuts and Dr. Pepper, crushed my forecast by driving 750 miles before calling in a night in Markham, IL, a sleepy Chicago suburb located a mere ten miles from the Indiana border. That means Keith drove 2,100 miles in three days. Why am I’m not surprised? Truth be told, I should have known better.
Day Four was a 450 mile-long layup, although the return to civilization meant Keith had to shelve the cruise control. He also got momentarily sidetracked through Michigan which, thanks to the “Find My Iphone” app, I was able to help him get him back on course. In the end, The Skinny Kid cruised into Pittsburgh around 6:00pm, completing a four-day journey across the country. He asked for it, he got it, and he will never forget it.
Next on the Keith Geiger hit list: learning how to drive in the snow.