Sweet Caroline

When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible

“When Harry Met Sally” (1989)

Sometime before Y2K, when red-headed grade-schooler Ross Geiger was darting around Moraga meadows booting soccer balls into the back of the net, I put down the camcorder long enough to pose a rhetorical question to The Pretty Blonde; “Ever wonder what kind of girl Ross is going to marry?”

“I know one thing,” she said with the confidence born of owning a claim to Ross’s maternal rights, “she’s going to be really smart.”

Talk about your understatements.

Caroline Kelley graduated with honors from Brown University in May 2013 with dual degrees in Public Policy and Economics. It wasn’t until February 2014 that Ross realized at a party he threw at his Boston bachelor pad that the bright and charming brunette he was chatting up, an engaging and graceful young lady who crashed the party, happened to have been a classmate of his, a happy coincidence he was only too eager to explore. Practically from that point on, the pair or brainy Brownies from the Class of 2013 became virtually inseparable, and in August 2016 Ross took stock of his good fortune and got down on a knee and proposed. Caroline, at the time a Senior Analyst at Analysis Group in Boston, answered in the affirmative, proving once again that Geiger men are blessed with the gene that allows them to marry WAY over their heads.

A few short weeks later, Caroline entered that venerable academic funhouse known as Harvard University to pursue a Ph.D. in Health Policy-Evaluative Science and Statistics. I don’t know much about much, but based on her alphabet soup of degrees it sounds like Caroline plans to preside over an HMO or a country, whichever comes first.

But wait, there’s more! Proving that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, Caroline’s mother has an MBA from Northeastern University and is a professor of accounting at Providence College. Meanwhile, dear ol’ Dad Kelley has a Master’s degree from Harvard and is the executive director of the Rhode Island Student Loan Authority. One thing you can say about the Kelley’s; they know their way around a blue book.

Here’s where it gets a little weird for me, though. Caroline was born and raised in Rhode Island, a state the size of Yosemite. I still have a difficult time getting my head wrapped around this fact, since you can drive six hours north or south from Moraga and still have to pay California taxes. Moreover, both Mom and Dad Kelley are life-long Rhode Islanders as well. The first time we met the Kelley’s, as magnanimous and gracious a couple as you could ever hope your son would one day call his in-laws, they tried to explain to us from the California Coast the social, cultural and political differences between Northern and Southern Rhode Island. After several bottles of wine, I came around and completely understood where they were coming from. After all, I did grow up in Los Angeles.

The wedding takes place next month in Providence, Rhode Island. Don’t be surprised if I write about it.

2 Responses to Sweet Caroline

  1. Walt Schneider says:

    Proud Papa and Mama!

  2. Josh Weaver says:

    Please add me to the distribution list

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